Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Tue, Feb 23, 2010, at 10:59 PM:
Just to lighten things up a bit.
Replies (13)
One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?'
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the panther, 'That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!'
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...
'Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!
Moral of this story...
Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
-- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Tue, Feb 23, 2010, at 11:02 PM
Headlines from Newspapers across the Country:
Student excited Dad got Head Job
Statistics show that Teen Pregnancy drops off significantly after Age 25
Fish Need Water, Feds say
Alton Attorney accidentally sues Himself
County to pay $250,000 to advertise Lack of Funds
Utah Poison Control Center reminds Everyone not to take Poison
Federal Agents raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons
-- Posted by gurusmom on Tue, Feb 23, 2010, at 11:26 PM
The moral of your story, Wheels, is absolutely true. What's more, we old folks delight in proving it.
-- Posted by gurusmom on Tue, Feb 23, 2010, at 11:29 PM
I had a great boss once that claimed you have to know a little about cheat'n, ly'n and steal'n to handle the cheaters, liars and thieves. He was a rascal that appreciated a well argued arguement, even if he disagreed with you. He did not suffer fools easily. Learned a lot from that man.
-- Posted by blogbudsman on Wed, Feb 24, 2010, at 7:39 AM
Fresh out of college, my first job was as a reporter on a small daily newspaper. As usual upon completion of a press run, a copy was brought up to our editor who gave it a good looking over.
It didn't take him long to find the error that caused a frantic chain of events to recall every paper that could be found. The offending error was in a clothing store's display ad:
"Sh*ts $10 Buy one,Get one FREE".
Next to the ad was a "house ad" which was occasionally inserted as a space filler. It said:
"Advertising in the News Journal Gets Noticed!"
History does not record how many copies escaped collection and disposal, never to see the light of day again. We were one proof reader short immediately thereafter.
-- Posted by voyager on Wed, Feb 24, 2010, at 9:35 AM
Just stepped in to see what was happening. Gotta run.
Thanks Spank.
-- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Wed, Feb 24, 2010, at 10:20 AM
Well, Wheels if you step in again,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
-- Posted by voyager on Wed, Feb 24, 2010, at 9:07 PM
Thanks Voyager.
-- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Wed, Feb 24, 2010, at 10:23 PM
So ... How much light does that many candles on a birthday cake put out, Wheels?
-- Posted by gurusmom on Wed, Feb 24, 2010, at 10:36 PM
Mom,
I left when they called the Fire Department! :-)
-- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Wed, Feb 24, 2010, at 10:39 PM
Justin Wilson had a good dog joke he told on his cooking show.
A fellow was sitting in the barbershop when the judge walks in and sees the big black dog laying next to the him. Judge says, mister, does your dog bite? He replied, no sir, my dog don't bite. The judge sit down next to him and reached his hand toward the dog and dang near lost a hand. Judge said, thought you said your dog don't bite! Man replied, my dog as gentle as a lamb. Well how do you splain that then, judge asked. "That aint my dog".
-- Posted by Old John on Thu, Feb 25, 2010, at 10:33 PM
LOVE IT, Wiff!
-- Posted by gurusmom on Sat, Feb 27, 2010, at 12:29 AM
A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.
"Not yet," said the little boy.
His mother tells him NO breakfast until you do your chores.
Well, he's a little ******, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.
He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow.
He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.
"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"
-- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Sun, Feb 28, 2010, at 1:36 AM
Menu
Just to lighten things up a bit.
Replies (13)